“This is like turning water into wine!”
~ Josh, my officemate while making our morning pot of coffee.
Strange, I’m actually sort of proud of the fact that I ranked so high in this quiz. I understand my dependancy on the bean juice and I can quit at anytime… really I can, but why would I want to do that :-)?
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Now playing: Chicago Public Radio – #303: David and Goliath
via FoxyTunes
This morning I consumed my morning cup of Liquid Holy Spirit at the Espresso Royal Cathedral on Goodwin. As it gave new life to my body I turned my attention to my Bible sitting next to me. Thumbing to today’s chapter in Proverbs I read the following:
“A bowl of vegetables with someone you love
is better than steak with someone you hate.”
Proverbs 15:17
So there you have it straight from the Word of the Lord. Come share a bowl of vegetables with me instead of the steak you hate… or I mean with someone you hate 😛
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Now playing: Caedmon’s Call – Trouble
via FoxyTunes
Last night I watched Awakenings, an older film from 1990 long been residing on my list of “I’d like to watch that someday, but its not to pressing right now.”
The movie tells an emotive story of a shut-in doctor, scared to engage with those around him. Taking a job caring for patients whom have been comatose for decades after surviving an encephalitis epidemic, proves first to challenge these tendencies. His gentleness and care with the patients tells of a deeply sensitive and caring man isolated by social insecurity. Upon trying an experimental drug his patients begin to awake from their coma-like-state hardly aware they had been gone. The gift of life, the simple things – taking a walk, dancing, singing are celebrated as they stir to life. The greatest awakening though happens in the doctor, who begins to live. To risk and engage with those around him.
Watching the movie provided an almost out-of-body experience, almost like watching the past years of my life. The doctor and I share some of the same story, a heart isolated but rescued to begin beating once again.
I was attempting to clean my room this morning when I came across a letter I wrote myself about 3 years ago at Ignite:
“God, you rescued my heart this conference. The process you began months ago by showing me the hardness of my heart and how closed off it has become has peaked here and now. Thank you for drawing me out and revealing wounds in my life and reasons for the state of my heart. You’ve brought me to the point where I am so completely frustrated with being emotionally cold to those around me and alone that I have no choice but to change. Hurting is at least feeling so at this point I’m ready to start the painful journey of healing. I want to live from a heart fully alive.”
Ignite closing reflections 2004
Three years have passed since my pen bled those words, life has taken me many places since then, but God’s leading has never been so apparent. This road is one of heart rescue.
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Now playing: Eisley – Brightly Wound
via FoxyTunes
(John street in front of the Dawg Haus)
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Now playing: Norah Jones – Don’t Miss You At All
via FoxyTunes
Photo Journalistic-esque:
My Friend Justin |
 |
His VW’s
Tonight I got to catch up with one of my bestest friends, Justin Sears (the original JP). Justin has been a long time VW enthusiast – even before I was. The one on the left is his ’83 Turbo-Diesel Jetta purchased when we were in high school, the one on the right is his ’03 Jetta GLI with the VR6 purchased not long after I bought my Rabbit. Justin’s a good friend, he brought me around to his church when we were kids and a major reason I’m following Jesus today. It was good to see him and get a chance to geek out about our irrational love for things VW and talk about important things too.
(Images stolen from JP’s website, and the book of faces)
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Now playing: Scattertones – There There
via FoxyTunes
Tonight I was together with some folks from my church, Illini Life. Our objective for the night consisted of discussing where we find ourselves as a ministry, listing our strengths and weaknesses and such.
It didn’t come as a surprise to most of us when we admitted that we are weak in evangelism and this potentially could be a major threat to the longevity of this group. As leaders and thinkers tend to do, I (and I suspect others) jumped to thinking about how we can fix this. How do we address this weakness?
Over the course of my Christian life I’ve heard a lot of teachings on evangelism and why I should be doing it more – the thing about these teachings though, I usually walk away feeling motivated by guilt. “I’m not a good enough Christian”, “I must not love God enough”, “Do I really have an ‘eternal perspective’?” These sorts of things haunt me as I walk through life and so I might share about Jesus with a friend, but probably more motivated by guilt then because I truly believe they need to the truth of The Gospel.
Continuing in that group conversation though: We stopped and listened to an interview with some respected Christian leaders and Church researchers. What struck me out of this interview – these guys addressed weakness in evangelism in another manner. Essentially they claimed churches who have a strong emphasis on spiritual formation and true discipleship – building Jesus Followers with a kingdom mindset – are seeing evangelism happening. The natural outward flow of someone Following Jesus is to bring others into that lifestyle. While this isn’t ground breaking, it caused me to think and question how we approach this weakness.
This raises questions for me, How much do I believe this idea? Do I trust this conclusion? And inversely, if our evangelism is weak, does that really mean our discipleship is weak? I welcome your thoughts and experiences – I’m processing so input is helpful.
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Now playing: Clemson Impulse – Insomniac Mix 1
via FoxyTunes
I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of identity in the past weeks – how I define who I am. The question of identity digs deep at my core, dragging up past hurts, wounds and ways I am not quite whole. Resting in who I am, not what I do or have to offer can be quite a challenge. Etched deep into my soul is the idea that I am the hat I wear. I am a Home Fellowship Leader, I am an engineer, I am a missionary.
This is how we talk isn’t it? The backward thing about this: those are things I do, not who I am. They are not my identity and when I’ve made them my identity my world crumbles at the slightest failure or missed opportunity.
We are so much more than what we do or have to offer. As sons and daughters of the Most High King we are beautifully and wonderfully made in His image, we are heirs, and this is not because we are super-spiritual Jesus followers with impressive resumes.
I need to be reminded of my sonship often, if not daily. For far to often I forget and rest on what I do and have to offer as my identity.
He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. 11 He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.
John 1:10-13
God caught me this morning as I rushed through my morning routine – caught me and slowed me, reminding me that I am His son, to choose that hat today. I needed that.
Awhile back I posted saying I’d like to do a series of posts on the Illini Life Fall Retreat. It took sometime for the audio to make it up online and when it did I found myself to be to busy to write much. Not that I’m less busy now – just feel guilty that I failed to do what I said I would. So here goes…
Wayne Wager kicked off the retreat with a teaching about “Spiritual Insecurity”. I thought it powerful hearing one of our pastors share about how he can feel spiritually insecure. Wayne related stories of early years in ministry and early years as a follower of Jesus – telling of how he didn’t feel as if he lived up to the spiritual norm of the folks in this church and how some didn’t expect he’d stay long. By God’s grace and blessing they were wrong – Wayne now co-pastors this campus church and I’m thankful for his wisdom and care.
The curveball for me in this teaching, what caught me off guard – Wayne talked about how we can feel insecure about being spiritual around non-believers. To confess, this is often the case for me and I had yet to think of it in terms of spiritual insecurity. The feeling looks a bit like this:
You are out at Murphy’s for lunch with your co-workers on a Wednesday. The conversation strays from work, to sports, to video games, to cars and then finally to the taboo topics: politics and religion. You have much to contribute on the matter of religion, but don’t contribute much for fear you might be perceived as a fanatic. “Don’t stand-out, blend in and be normal” One guy speaks up about how he believes Christianity is the only true path to God, you summon enough courage to agree, but that’s all you say.
That was today, I was spiritually insecure today.
You can listen to Wayne’s teaching here.
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Now playing: Madeleine Peyroux – You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go
via FoxyTunes
So I’m stealing this from Amy, check out her blog for the original post.
Music can have a strong emotional pull on me – invoking happiness or sadness, and not always related to a past experience. As I thought over my favorite artists I realized the ones a top the list have the strongest grip over me – Derek Webb, Counting Crows, Damien Rice, Ray LaMontagne, to name a few.
Sometimes a song in it’s completeness – music, lyrics, vocals – draws out a feeling of joy. For me, worship music often follows this line, but as my previous post showed, fun ska or punk music can do it too. Other songs just make me want to cry. Here are a couple of those types:
“Fix You” by Coldplay – Coldplay is an interesting band for me, the vocals usually pull me down but the guitar and drums make me want to move and sway which makes me smile. This song though just makes me teary.
“Colorblind” by Counting Crows – I’m a sap for a sad piano song, well any piano song I guess, but the start to this song causes emotion to well up and my eyes to fill. Then the violin sets in and I’m gone. This song is probably the most consistent tear invoker on the list.
“The Blowers Daughter” by Damien Rice – Soaked in pain, you can hear the hurt in Damien’s voice and it moves my heart to morn with him.
“Black eye” by Jeff Tweedy – This one doesn’t always get me, but on days when I feel alone and distant from God, forgetting his grace and love, this song reminds me of all the walls I’ve constructed and how good they are at isolating me.
“Let that be enough” by Switchfoot – So worshipful, so prayerful, it centers me on God and illuminates ways I’ve chosen my way instead of His. It strips me down to a simple child like faith and puts me back together.
This was a lot of fun for me, what songs make you want to cry. Or if you like, what songs make you joyful?
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Greg Van Nada
VERY COOL Love you, Dad
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Ahahah! Such a funny commercial!
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