Archive for the ‘Spirituality’ Category

"German Engineering in da Houz"

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Posted 24 Nov 2007 — by nick
Category Friends, Fun, Jesus, Spirituality, Volkswagen

Photo Journalistic-esque:

My Friend Justin

His VW’s

Tonight I got to catch up with one of my bestest friends, Justin Sears (the original JP). Justin has been a long time VW enthusiast – even before I was. The one on the left is his ’83 Turbo-Diesel Jetta purchased when we were in high school, the one on the right is his ’03 Jetta GLI with the VR6 purchased not long after I bought my Rabbit. Justin’s a good friend, he brought me around to his church when we were kids and a major reason I’m following Jesus today. It was good to see him and get a chance to geek out about our irrational love for things VW and talk about important things too.

(Images stolen from JP’s website, and the book of faces)

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Now playing: Scattertones – There There
via FoxyTunes

Is Evangelism Weak or Just Spiritual Formation?

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Posted 20 Nov 2007 — by nick
Category Jesus, Ministry, Spirituality

Tonight I was together with some folks from my church, Illini Life. Our objective for the night consisted of discussing where we find ourselves as a ministry, listing our strengths and weaknesses and such.

It didn’t come as a surprise to most of us when we admitted that we are weak in evangelism and this potentially could be a major threat to the longevity of this group. As leaders and thinkers tend to do, I (and I suspect others) jumped to thinking about how we can fix this. How do we address this weakness?

Over the course of my Christian life I’ve heard a lot of teachings on evangelism and why I should be doing it more – the thing about these teachings though, I usually walk away feeling motivated by guilt. “I’m not a good enough Christian”, “I must not love God enough”, “Do I really have an ‘eternal perspective’?” These sorts of things haunt me as I walk through life and so I might share about Jesus with a friend, but probably more motivated by guilt then because I truly believe they need to the truth of The Gospel.

Continuing in that group conversation though: We stopped and listened to an interview with some respected Christian leaders and Church researchers. What struck me out of this interview – these guys addressed weakness in evangelism in another manner. Essentially they claimed churches who have a strong emphasis on spiritual formation and true discipleship – building Jesus Followers with a kingdom mindset – are seeing evangelism happening. The natural outward flow of someone Following Jesus is to bring others into that lifestyle. While this isn’t ground breaking, it caused me to think and question how we approach this weakness.

This raises questions for me, How much do I believe this idea? Do I trust this conclusion? And inversely, if our evangelism is weak, does that really mean our discipleship is weak? I welcome your thoughts and experiences – I’m processing so input is helpful.

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Now playing: Clemson Impulse – Insomniac Mix 1
via FoxyTunes

Identity

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Posted 14 Nov 2007 — by nick
Category Jesus, Light, Ministry, Scripture, Spirituality

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of identity in the past weeks – how I define who I am. The question of identity digs deep at my core, dragging up past hurts, wounds and ways I am not quite whole. Resting in who I am, not what I do or have to offer can be quite a challenge. Etched deep into my soul is the idea that I am the hat I wear. I am a Home Fellowship Leader, I am an engineer, I am a missionary.

This is how we talk isn’t it? The backward thing about this: those are things I do, not who I am. They are not my identity and when I’ve made them my identity my world crumbles at the slightest failure or missed opportunity.

We are so much more than what we do or have to offer. As sons and daughters of the Most High King we are beautifully and wonderfully made in His image, we are heirs, and this is not because we are super-spiritual Jesus followers with impressive resumes.

I need to be reminded of my sonship often, if not daily. For far to often I forget and rest on what I do and have to offer as my identity.

He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. 11 He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.
John 1:10-13

God caught me this morning as I rushed through my morning routine – caught me and slowed me, reminding me that I am His son, to choose that hat today. I needed that.

Fall Retreat Reflections: Part 2 Spiritual Insecurity

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Posted 07 Nov 2007 — by nick
Category Jesus, Light, Ministry, Spirituality

Awhile back I posted saying I’d like to do a series of posts on the Illini Life Fall Retreat. It took sometime for the audio to make it up online and when it did I found myself to be to busy to write much. Not that I’m less busy now – just feel guilty that I failed to do what I said I would. So here goes…

Wayne Wager kicked off the retreat with a teaching about “Spiritual Insecurity”. I thought it powerful hearing one of our pastors share about how he can feel spiritually insecure. Wayne related stories of early years in ministry and early years as a follower of Jesus – telling of how he didn’t feel as if he lived up to the spiritual norm of the folks in this church and how some didn’t expect he’d stay long. By God’s grace and blessing they were wrong – Wayne now co-pastors this campus church and I’m thankful for his wisdom and care.

The curveball for me in this teaching, what caught me off guard – Wayne talked about how we can feel insecure about being spiritual around non-believers. To confess, this is often the case for me and I had yet to think of it in terms of spiritual insecurity. The feeling looks a bit like this:

You are out at Murphy’s for lunch with your co-workers on a Wednesday. The conversation strays from work, to sports, to video games, to cars and then finally to the taboo topics: politics and religion. You have much to contribute on the matter of religion, but don’t contribute much for fear you might be perceived as a fanatic. “Don’t stand-out, blend in and be normal” One guy speaks up about how he believes Christianity is the only true path to God, you summon enough courage to agree, but that’s all you say.

That was today, I was spiritually insecure today.

You can listen to Wayne’s teaching here.

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Now playing: Madeleine Peyroux – You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go
via FoxyTunes

Moving Music

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Posted 04 Nov 2007 — by nick
Category Blogs, Friends, Fun, Jesus, music, Spirituality

So I’m stealing this from Amy, check out her blog for the original post.

Music can have a strong emotional pull on me – invoking happiness or sadness, and not always related to a past experience. As I thought over my favorite artists I realized the ones a top the list have the strongest grip over me – Derek Webb, Counting Crows, Damien Rice, Ray LaMontagne, to name a few.

Sometimes a song in it’s completeness – music, lyrics, vocals – draws out a feeling of joy. For me, worship music often follows this line, but as my previous post showed, fun ska or punk music can do it too. Other songs just make me want to cry. Here are a couple of those types:

“Fix You” by Coldplay – Coldplay is an interesting band for me, the vocals usually pull me down but the guitar and drums make me want to move and sway which makes me smile. This song though just makes me teary.

“Colorblind” by Counting Crows – I’m a sap for a sad piano song, well any piano song I guess, but the start to this song causes emotion to well up and my eyes to fill. Then the violin sets in and I’m gone. This song is probably the most consistent tear invoker on the list.

“The Blowers Daughter” by Damien Rice – Soaked in pain, you can hear the hurt in Damien’s voice and it moves my heart to morn with him.

“Black eye” by Jeff Tweedy – This one doesn’t always get me, but on days when I feel alone and distant from God, forgetting his grace and love, this song reminds me of all the walls I’ve constructed and how good they are at isolating me.

“Let that be enough” by Switchfoot – So worshipful, so prayerful, it centers me on God and illuminates ways I’ve chosen my way instead of His. It strips me down to a simple child like faith and puts me back together.

This was a lot of fun for me, what songs make you want to cry. Or if you like, what songs make you joyful?

New Nooma – 018 Name

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Posted 31 Oct 2007 — by nick
Category Jesus, Light, Ministry, Spirituality, Technology, Videos

A new Nooma was released today, the eighteenth in the series. Those of you that heard me speak at Illini Life Summer Church or at the Fall Retreat might find some of the material familiar. This Nooma is a bit of a summary of a couple of life changing teachings I’ve listened to frequently by Rob Bell.

For the next 48 hours you can watch the NOOMA for free on their MySpace page.

It was good to be reminded of these truths today.

I Shall Not Walk Alone

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Posted 27 Oct 2007 — by nick
Category Light, music, Poetry, Spirituality

“I Shall Not Walk Alone”
By Ben Harper

Battered and torn
still I can see the light
tattered and worn
but I must kneel to fight

Friend of mine
what can’t you spare
I know some times
it gets cold in there

When my legs no longer carry
and the warm wind chills my bones
I reach for Mother Mary
and I shall not walk alone

Hope is alive
while we’re apart
only tears
speak from my heart
break the chains
that hold us down
and we shall be
forever bound

When I’m tired and weary
and a long way from home
I reach for Mother Mary
and I shall not walk alone

Beauty that
we left behind
how shall we
tomorrow find

Set aside
our weight in sin
so that we
can live again

When my legs no longer carry
and the warm wind chills my bones
I reach for Mother Mary
and I shall not walk alone

I’ve recently gotten into Ben Harper. He’s an artist I’ve heard a lot about and respect simply because friends I respect like him. Matt Wondra’s brother moved in with us a couple weeks back and loaned me one of Ben Harper’s Albums “Will To Live”. After listening through a couple of times I’ve come to really love this album. It’s beautiful and this track is pure poetry in it’s simplicity.

We shall not walk alone for the God of all creation walks beside us.

Retreating to the Wilderness

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Posted 24 Oct 2007 — by nick
Category Creation, Friends, Fun, Jesus, Light, Spirituality

Illinois has mountains too… well sorta. This is Camel Rock in the Garden of the Gods, part of Shawnee National Forest in Southern Illinois.

In a few short minutes I’ll be on the road with my twin brother Chris headed for Harrisburg, IL. We’ll be spending the next 3 1/2 days hiking a small section of the River to River trail – specifically we are destined for The Garden of the Gods.

I’m excited to have a chance to retreat and spend some refreshing simplistic time with God. I pray He meets with me as I walk through creation and communions with me as I drink deep of His beauty.

See you in a few days.

Sunlight

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Posted 18 Oct 2007 — by nick
Category Darkness, Jesus, Light, Running, Scripture, Spirituality

Typically after a marathon I tend to struggle more with feeling down and emotional – some runners have a term for this, Post Marathon Depression. While I’m not sure I’d call it depression – certainly there is a great feeling of lose and emptiness. In one respect you reached the goal through months of training, uplifting. Then there is the emptiness of not having a goal to strive for, not having a motivation to get back on the road and put in the miles. In addition you have the physical limitation; your body simply needs to recover and your legs can be mad at you for sometime. Typically my body needs about 2 weeks to recover and feel up to pounding the road again.

Reviewing previous years it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the past weeks have been pretty tough emotionally and felt so exhausting. Periodically I’ve felt overwhelmed with emotion – making it hard to be around friends or even complete my work.

Yesterday I noticed the hours of sunlight dwindling, like they do each fall, and that made me sad. Soon it’ll be dark when I go to work in the morning and dark when I get off. Over the years I’ve heard claims that sunlight helps fight depression, so I’ve made it a point to get outside today – visiting some of the buildings I’m networking. Surprising how much better I feel just from getting to see the sun a bit – how much more hopeful life seems. It excites me and reminds me of this idea of God being light and us as followers being salt and light.


I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the dark. ~ Jesus (John 12:46)

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Now playing: Derek Webb – This Too Shall Be Made Right
via FoxyTunes

Fall Retreat Reflections: Part 1 The Intro

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Posted 25 Sep 2007 — by nick
Category Jesus, Ministry, Scripture, Spirituality

This weekend marked our annual Fall Retreat. Each year Illini Life heads off to a little camp near Peoria to get away from the busyness of campus and the chaos of year’s beginning. In the past we’ve brought in a speaker to teach the 4 or so main sessions – this year our teachers were all in-house which aided a more family centric feel to the retreat.

The topic of focus: Insecurities – Physical, Emotional and Social.

I felt the weekend was very accessible and left me with a great deal of hope. Sharing honestly about our insecurities – what is really going on behind tearful eyes, or a joyous smile – breaks down walls and makes me feel less alone. Sharing in others insecurities removes the isolating and crippling power they have over us.

I’d like to try and write a series of posts on this weekend, reflecting on each of the teachings and the things God has shown me through them. I say try because we all know I’m not so consistent with posting.

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Now playing: Iron & Wine – Resurrection Fern
via FoxyTunes

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