Archive for the ‘Jesus’ Category

Identity

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Posted 14 Nov 2007 — by nick
Category Jesus, Light, Ministry, Scripture, Spirituality

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of identity in the past weeks – how I define who I am. The question of identity digs deep at my core, dragging up past hurts, wounds and ways I am not quite whole. Resting in who I am, not what I do or have to offer can be quite a challenge. Etched deep into my soul is the idea that I am the hat I wear. I am a Home Fellowship Leader, I am an engineer, I am a missionary.

This is how we talk isn’t it? The backward thing about this: those are things I do, not who I am. They are not my identity and when I’ve made them my identity my world crumbles at the slightest failure or missed opportunity.

We are so much more than what we do or have to offer. As sons and daughters of the Most High King we are beautifully and wonderfully made in His image, we are heirs, and this is not because we are super-spiritual Jesus followers with impressive resumes.

I need to be reminded of my sonship often, if not daily. For far to often I forget and rest on what I do and have to offer as my identity.

He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. 11 He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.
John 1:10-13

God caught me this morning as I rushed through my morning routine – caught me and slowed me, reminding me that I am His son, to choose that hat today. I needed that.

Fall Retreat Reflections: Part 2 Spiritual Insecurity

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Posted 07 Nov 2007 — by nick
Category Jesus, Light, Ministry, Spirituality

Awhile back I posted saying I’d like to do a series of posts on the Illini Life Fall Retreat. It took sometime for the audio to make it up online and when it did I found myself to be to busy to write much. Not that I’m less busy now – just feel guilty that I failed to do what I said I would. So here goes…

Wayne Wager kicked off the retreat with a teaching about “Spiritual Insecurity”. I thought it powerful hearing one of our pastors share about how he can feel spiritually insecure. Wayne related stories of early years in ministry and early years as a follower of Jesus – telling of how he didn’t feel as if he lived up to the spiritual norm of the folks in this church and how some didn’t expect he’d stay long. By God’s grace and blessing they were wrong – Wayne now co-pastors this campus church and I’m thankful for his wisdom and care.

The curveball for me in this teaching, what caught me off guard – Wayne talked about how we can feel insecure about being spiritual around non-believers. To confess, this is often the case for me and I had yet to think of it in terms of spiritual insecurity. The feeling looks a bit like this:

You are out at Murphy’s for lunch with your co-workers on a Wednesday. The conversation strays from work, to sports, to video games, to cars and then finally to the taboo topics: politics and religion. You have much to contribute on the matter of religion, but don’t contribute much for fear you might be perceived as a fanatic. “Don’t stand-out, blend in and be normal” One guy speaks up about how he believes Christianity is the only true path to God, you summon enough courage to agree, but that’s all you say.

That was today, I was spiritually insecure today.

You can listen to Wayne’s teaching here.

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Now playing: Madeleine Peyroux – You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go
via FoxyTunes

Moving Music

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Posted 04 Nov 2007 — by nick
Category Blogs, Friends, Fun, Jesus, music, Spirituality

So I’m stealing this from Amy, check out her blog for the original post.

Music can have a strong emotional pull on me – invoking happiness or sadness, and not always related to a past experience. As I thought over my favorite artists I realized the ones a top the list have the strongest grip over me – Derek Webb, Counting Crows, Damien Rice, Ray LaMontagne, to name a few.

Sometimes a song in it’s completeness – music, lyrics, vocals – draws out a feeling of joy. For me, worship music often follows this line, but as my previous post showed, fun ska or punk music can do it too. Other songs just make me want to cry. Here are a couple of those types:

“Fix You” by Coldplay – Coldplay is an interesting band for me, the vocals usually pull me down but the guitar and drums make me want to move and sway which makes me smile. This song though just makes me teary.

“Colorblind” by Counting Crows – I’m a sap for a sad piano song, well any piano song I guess, but the start to this song causes emotion to well up and my eyes to fill. Then the violin sets in and I’m gone. This song is probably the most consistent tear invoker on the list.

“The Blowers Daughter” by Damien Rice – Soaked in pain, you can hear the hurt in Damien’s voice and it moves my heart to morn with him.

“Black eye” by Jeff Tweedy – This one doesn’t always get me, but on days when I feel alone and distant from God, forgetting his grace and love, this song reminds me of all the walls I’ve constructed and how good they are at isolating me.

“Let that be enough” by Switchfoot – So worshipful, so prayerful, it centers me on God and illuminates ways I’ve chosen my way instead of His. It strips me down to a simple child like faith and puts me back together.

This was a lot of fun for me, what songs make you want to cry. Or if you like, what songs make you joyful?

New Nooma – 018 Name

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Posted 31 Oct 2007 — by nick
Category Jesus, Light, Ministry, Spirituality, Technology, Videos

A new Nooma was released today, the eighteenth in the series. Those of you that heard me speak at Illini Life Summer Church or at the Fall Retreat might find some of the material familiar. This Nooma is a bit of a summary of a couple of life changing teachings I’ve listened to frequently by Rob Bell.

For the next 48 hours you can watch the NOOMA for free on their MySpace page.

It was good to be reminded of these truths today.

Retreating to the Wilderness

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Posted 24 Oct 2007 — by nick
Category Creation, Friends, Fun, Jesus, Light, Spirituality

Illinois has mountains too… well sorta. This is Camel Rock in the Garden of the Gods, part of Shawnee National Forest in Southern Illinois.

In a few short minutes I’ll be on the road with my twin brother Chris headed for Harrisburg, IL. We’ll be spending the next 3 1/2 days hiking a small section of the River to River trail – specifically we are destined for The Garden of the Gods.

I’m excited to have a chance to retreat and spend some refreshing simplistic time with God. I pray He meets with me as I walk through creation and communions with me as I drink deep of His beauty.

See you in a few days.

Sunlight

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Posted 18 Oct 2007 — by nick
Category Darkness, Jesus, Light, Running, Scripture, Spirituality

Typically after a marathon I tend to struggle more with feeling down and emotional – some runners have a term for this, Post Marathon Depression. While I’m not sure I’d call it depression – certainly there is a great feeling of lose and emptiness. In one respect you reached the goal through months of training, uplifting. Then there is the emptiness of not having a goal to strive for, not having a motivation to get back on the road and put in the miles. In addition you have the physical limitation; your body simply needs to recover and your legs can be mad at you for sometime. Typically my body needs about 2 weeks to recover and feel up to pounding the road again.

Reviewing previous years it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the past weeks have been pretty tough emotionally and felt so exhausting. Periodically I’ve felt overwhelmed with emotion – making it hard to be around friends or even complete my work.

Yesterday I noticed the hours of sunlight dwindling, like they do each fall, and that made me sad. Soon it’ll be dark when I go to work in the morning and dark when I get off. Over the years I’ve heard claims that sunlight helps fight depression, so I’ve made it a point to get outside today – visiting some of the buildings I’m networking. Surprising how much better I feel just from getting to see the sun a bit – how much more hopeful life seems. It excites me and reminds me of this idea of God being light and us as followers being salt and light.


I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the dark. ~ Jesus (John 12:46)

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Now playing: Derek Webb – This Too Shall Be Made Right
via FoxyTunes

Fall Retreat Reflections: Part 1 The Intro

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Posted 25 Sep 2007 — by nick
Category Jesus, Ministry, Scripture, Spirituality

This weekend marked our annual Fall Retreat. Each year Illini Life heads off to a little camp near Peoria to get away from the busyness of campus and the chaos of year’s beginning. In the past we’ve brought in a speaker to teach the 4 or so main sessions – this year our teachers were all in-house which aided a more family centric feel to the retreat.

The topic of focus: Insecurities – Physical, Emotional and Social.

I felt the weekend was very accessible and left me with a great deal of hope. Sharing honestly about our insecurities – what is really going on behind tearful eyes, or a joyous smile – breaks down walls and makes me feel less alone. Sharing in others insecurities removes the isolating and crippling power they have over us.

I’d like to try and write a series of posts on this weekend, reflecting on each of the teachings and the things God has shown me through them. I say try because we all know I’m not so consistent with posting.

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Now playing: Iron & Wine – Resurrection Fern
via FoxyTunes

A World in Disorder

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Posted 21 Sep 2007 — by nick
Category Blogs, Darkness, Jesus, Light, News, Podcasts, Social Justice, Videos

I arrived at work this morning like usual and browsed my podcasts. NPR story of the day, The New from Lake Wobegon, Pandora podcast, This American Life, etc. “‘Jena Six’ Case Prompts Mass Demonstrations” – the NPR headline seemed to leap out. Clicking ‘play’ I found my heart beating faster, an anger welling up and sadness deepening.

Initially I was angry that racism could still be so prevalent in this little town in the south. Then I began to admit it’s not just in the south, in this little town. I see it in my upbringing, I see it at home, I see it on this campus, I see it in my life – through my white privilege and learned behavior.

In the darkness of racism it becomes so apparent to me that Jesus is the hope of the World and that he is putting it all back together again. We simply can’t fix things apart from God.

NPR was my first exposure to this issue – the whole story feels like something out of a text book describing the 60’s. You can read more here at BBC.

One of the more interesting bits of the article to me is how the community is described as a “mixed community” about 85% White and 12% black, yet the churches are not so ‘mixed’ nor are the neighborhoods or even the barber shop.

Continuing my morning routine I noticed a blog post by JR Woodward about this topic. As usual it’s worth reading.

Here is a brief YouTube Photo Story:

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Now playing: Derek Webb – A New Law
via FoxyTunes

"Everything must change"

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Posted 17 Sep 2007 — by nick
Category Books, Jesus, Light, Spirituality, Videos

“If Jesus’ message of the kingdom of God is true, then everything must change. Everything must change.” ~ Brian McLaren Everything Must Change

As I sat at my desk today, my mind straying to thoughts about this coming weekend, I found myself more and more pulled to God. Talking to Him about anything and everything. This video quenched some of my thirst for something deeper today – something more than computers, networking and music.

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Now playing: Over The Rhine – Born
via FoxyTunes

Blog Samples: Sin

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Posted 14 Jun 2007 — by nick
Category Blogs, Jesus, Light, Spirituality

I came across this post by Scott McKnight on Jesus Creed, I thought it worth sharing.

Letters to Emerging Christians
“Now my final point: the biggest issue that I see with the Romans Road approach is that once the sin problem is resolved (sin almost always understood as guilt before an all-holy God, which is true but not true enough), salvation has been accomplished. Frankly, this isn’t biblical: the sin problem of guilt, to be sure, has to be resolved, but sin is bigger than guilt (it is distorted relationship with God, self, others, and the world) and therefore the resolution (salvation) is bigger than forgiveness (it is resolved relationships with God, self, others, and the world — and it takes a lifetime). Only a kingdom vision makes the sin problem fully clear and only a kingdom vision makes the solution fully clear.”

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