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I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of identity in the past weeks – how I define who I am. The question of identity digs deep at my core, dragging up past hurts, wounds and ways I am not quite whole. Resting in who I am, not what I do or have to offer can be quite a challenge. Etched deep into my soul is the idea that I am the hat I wear. I am a Home Fellowship Leader, I am an engineer, I am a missionary.

This is how we talk isn’t it? The backward thing about this: those are things I do, not who I am. They are not my identity and when I’ve made them my identity my world crumbles at the slightest failure or missed opportunity.

We are so much more than what we do or have to offer. As sons and daughters of the Most High King we are beautifully and wonderfully made in His image, we are heirs, and this is not because we are super-spiritual Jesus followers with impressive resumes.

I need to be reminded of my sonship often, if not daily. For far to often I forget and rest on what I do and have to offer as my identity.

He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. 11 He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.
John 1:10-13

God caught me this morning as I rushed through my morning routine – caught me and slowed me, reminding me that I am His son, to choose that hat today. I needed that.

After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you.”

“Then feed my lambs,” Jesus told him.

Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

“Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love you.”

“Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said.

A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.

“I tell you the truth, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked; you dressed yourself and went wherever you wanted to go. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will dress you and take you where you don’t want to go.” Jesus said this to let him know by what kind of death he would glorify God. Then Jesus told him, “Follow me.”

Peter turned around and saw behind them the disciple Jesus loved—the one who had leaned over to Jesus during supper and asked, “Lord, who will betray you?” Peter asked Jesus, “What about him, Lord?”

Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”
~ John 21:15-22

Awhile back I downloaded a message Rob Bell gave at his Church – this passage the focus. He talks throughout about how in John’s Gospel we see this petty rivalry between John and Peter. John refers to himself as ‘The disciple Jesus loved’, he explains that he ran faster than Peter and arrived at Jesus’ empty tomb first, points out how Peter denies Jesus 3 times, to name a few.

I went to Easter Mass with my Dad when I was home and the priest referenced the passage of John running faster than Peter to the empty tomb only he painted it in the light of John’s young age and put some spin to the effect of John’s youth made him less wise than St. Peter – hinting at worth and spiritual maturity being greater in the older, wiser St. Peter.

So much comparison – measuring one man against another.

The challenging part of this passage comes when Jesus says “What is that to you?” He gives Peter a purpose, tells him what his life is meant for and alludes to how he’s going to die, but Peter is more concerned with what John gets. “What about him?”

This is the comparison game – what steals my joy and my peace – and “the disciple Jesus loved” and the disciple Jesus builds his church on are playing it. It is so far ingrained in my humanity it twists even the simplest things in life. I compare my stuff, my progress at work, my spirituality, how effective I am at teaching and leading, how I pray, how much I read my Bible, how smart I sound, how smart I am, how fast I run, how far I run, what I look like, how much money I make, how much money I give away, how many people read this blog, I’m sure I could type for the rest of the night and still have more to list.

The point is Jesus has given me a purpose (some might call it a calling but that’s too churchy sounding), I shouldn’t be concerned with what everyone else gets. Living like that is being content, it is being comfortable in your own skin, it is being who God made you to be.

He’s given each of us a purpose – we shouldn’t be asking “what about him?” because Jesus’ answer is “What is that to you? As for you, follow me.”